my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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