you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
40s are totally the cure
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
