if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
