If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
