I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
