I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
where am i from again
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
