singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize