You're so nebulous sometimes
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
