there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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