Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
