She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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