You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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