I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
