i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
