dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize