The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
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