haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
