We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
