You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Those nachos came to me in a dream
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
