I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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