okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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