also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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