chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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