is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
