You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize