He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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