[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
