Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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