Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
