i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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