he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I have post one night stand depression
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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