Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
