omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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