i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
