i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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