I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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