I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
