Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
