I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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