Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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