my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
