They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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