This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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