currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
