I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
