So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
