It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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