the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
