At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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