I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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