I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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