erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
