Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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