plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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