hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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