dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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