yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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