so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
