New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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