ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
