Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
