tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
