I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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